Help! I Gotta Shake The Mormons

I need your help.  The nice Mormon missionaries dropped by my house again, though at an inconvenient time that kept our meeting short (convenient enough for me!).  However, we made an appointment for next Wednesday at 5pm. 

On one hand, I am genuinely interested in their beliefs and tradition, both from a religious perspective and a sociological perspective – I’m fascinated by the Mormons.  Yet, on the other hand, I have to get them to stop coming to my house.  Here are some ideas:

  • The keep blowing them off option: Every time I see the Mormons coming down the sidewalk, I can pinch my daughter so she is screaming when they come to the door.  Or, I could simply not be home when we’ve scheduled a meeting.  And of course, there is the generic, "Gosh, this is not a good time right now.  Please come back later."  But this is unlikely to work.
  • The you’re-wasting-your-freakin’-time option: "Thanks for coming by my house, but we’re dedicated to our Lutheran church.  My wife is a Lutheran pastor, and the daughter, niece (three times!) and grand-daughter of Lutheran pastors.  I’m a seminary graduate preparing to be a Lutheran pastor.  We love the Lutheran Church, and we ain’t switching.  Sorry."
  • The you-believe-that? option: "Thanks for coming by my house, but I really do not believe that Jesus came to the Americas, that Joseph Smith was a prophet, that the Book of Mormon or other revelations of Joseph Smith are the Word of God.  Nor do I believe that I’ve already had a pre-mortal life, or that this life is a result of my pre-mortal acceptance of God’s plan.  Baptism is for the living, not for the dead.  I like wine with my communion and coffee with my breakfast."

I am appreciative for the reflection these Mormon missionaries have provoked in me about faith and life, but it’s time to end this relationship.

Yup.  I need to dump the Mormons.  Any advice would be much appreciated.

Published by Chris Duckworth

Spouse. Parent. Lutheran Pastor. Veteran. Jedi. Political Junkie. Baseball Fan.

6 thoughts on “Help! I Gotta Shake The Mormons

  1. Y’know, it’s funny – I’ve had some friends who were Mormons and they never tried to convert me. I wonder if it’s only something they do in their “professional” capacity?

  2. I’d go hard-core…
    Mormons believe they’re Christians. I’d explain to them Irenaeus’s three marks of the church and confront them with the reality that they fall outside them all–then invite them into a relationship with Jesus Christ through his incarnate Body–the Church. The key is polite and firm…

  3. I handed out my own tractate to one. They didn’t come after that. Another more gracious option is a gentle “you’re wasting my freekin’ time” where you explain pretty much what you’ve explained to us, that you were/are interested in them, but not in a conversion kind of way. It’s sort of like dumping someone because you think they are quirky, not cute… or something like that.

  4. Quoting
    > Hey, you are the sales man. In sales school, did they teach you how
    > to overcome
    > objections? Did they teach you when to sense you are wasting your time? Use
    > that tactic, but better yet, just be direct. “I was interested in talking to
    > you because I’m interested in Mormonism in general. I’m open minded
    > about all
    > sorts of things. But I also hold strongly to my own Christian beliefs. I’d
    > like you to hear what I believe before you leave.” Maybe also ask them why they visit people.
    I almost always talk to the JWs when they show up. The same people have been showing up for about a quarter of a century. I don’t let them get on to their spiel. I tell them about the joys of my church and faith, and they know that this is what they are going to hear, but they keep showing up about every 6months. and when I see that lady in the store, if I havent been home when she visited, she comments that I must be gone a lot. They must get brownie points for showing up. I don’t let them get brownie points for having the door slammed in their faces.

  5. Look, I’m LDS and been there showing up at appointments people don’t really want. You probably really do you like them, but if you’re really not interested don’t make appointments that you plan on canceling or not being around for. Just flat out tell them. They might feel like you’re making a mistake, but they should respect it. I always wished people would just be honest with me, I was with them. If they’re not interested, I’d rather they told me straight rather than trying to let me down easy. Don’t worry, they get that every day. They learn not to take it personally.

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